The other day my Spiritual Director and I were meeting together. She asked me why I thought God wanted to spend time with me? My initial reaction was because he wants me to do amazing things for him and then I quickly realized that wasn’t the reason. I repented quickly from that first answer and realized there is still much time that God and I need to spend with one another till my heart answers that question, God’s wants to spend time with me because he wants us to just be together.
I got the great idea to make some homemade cookies today and asked my youngest if he wanted to join in. He was quick to answer yes. This is my third kid so I’m finally at the realization that making cookies with two-year-olds will result in a cloud of flour everywhere and not all the ingredients making it into the mixing bowl but definitely sticky little fingers. Expecting the messes helps me to open myself up to relaxing and enjoying the moment more.
We got to the point in the cookie making that is every kid’s favorite (and mine too) where we use a special cookie scoop to place the dough on the baking sheets. It’s like a miniature ice cream scoop that you squeeze the handle to release the dough. Due to the novelty and gadget involved the kids always want to complete this step themselves and my little guy was eager to declare, “Me do it!” I knew his little hand wasn’t going to be able to squeeze the handle in the whole way so I asked if we could do it together and his answer changed to, “Mommy. Me. Both!”
As our hands worked together to scoop and squeeze, my heart was warmed at the moment we shared. With each drop of the dough, my son would squeal with delight and his face beamed with excitement and pride at his accomplishment. Sure I could have made the cookies myself but I would have missed out on the shared joy between my son and me. I enjoyed just being together.
God doesn’t need us to “make cookies” in life. He’s the creator of the universe and he knows we’re dust and that whenever we get our sticky little fingers into the bowl there’s going to be messes. God doesn’t need me to do anything but I do think he enjoys accomplishing his work together with me, seeing the delight and wonder in my face as his hand takes hold of mine and we spend time just being together. Little by little as I attune my presence to an awareness of his presence every moment I will feel less of a need to do anything and more of a desire to be.